Thoroughly Disgusted With New Adverts!!!

Disgusting Adverts

Rod B Sandleman:
I am absolutely DISGUSTED! Meetaplex has begun serving really dirty adult-themed movie promos to my page. Some of the movies are nearly ten minutes long and mainly show people having sex at a wedding. It is not clear whether the people having sex are actually the ones getting married.

Meetaplex:
Hi, Rod. You can opt out. Simply click where it says ‘Third Party Content’, and then clear the tick box next to ‘Adult Fantasy’.

Ed Case:
Never mind him opting out, how do I opt in?

Meetaplex:
You don’t have to opt in. As long as the box next to ‘Adult Fantasy’ is ticked, you’ll get the movies.

Superteeth:
My box is ticked and I’m not seeing the movies.

Pathfinger:
Me neither.

Michael Slimcock:
Nor me. Not that I’m bothered about seeing the movies or anything, ‘cos I’m in no way a perv and I think all that stuff’s really sad – especially if it’s at a wedding. I’m just concerned that there’s something wrong with my account, that’s all.

Pathfinger:
Oh absolutely. I’m certainly not a perv either and have no interest whatsoever in actually watching the movies. I am merely concerned for other people who may be offended, and I need to see exactly where the movies appear on the screen so I can go and advise all my easily-offended friends where not to look.

Superteeth:
I, on the other hand, am a perv, and I just want to see the movies.

Meetaplex:
Guys, give the system a chance – My F***ing Wedding has only just been released. Also, there are over 600 ads currently running with Meetaplex. Whilst you could feasibly see one of the My F***ing Wedding commercials this evening, you may not in fact see one until Christmas.

Superteeth:
But Sandleman sounds like he’s seen about five different movies. Why does he get all that, and I get bugger all? Can I have the ones he’s rejecting?

Wayne Chavness:
Guys, I’ve got it! I’ve found a way to get all six My F***ing Wedding promos playing repetitively on a loop. They’re absolutely FILTHY! I’ve even had two playing on screen at the same time!… I’ll post the information, but I want 30 +1s… in advance – NO TAKEBACKS.

Superteeth:
+1

Pathfinger:
+1. But I’m only doing this out of concern for other people.

Ed Case:
+1.

Superteeth:
Look, can everyone just hurry up and rep him please.

Wayne Chavness:
I’m still one short. I’m not posting it until I’ve got the full 30.

Michael Slimcock:
I will give you a +1, Wayne, but it’s nothing to do with this movie clip thing. I have no wish to see porn. I was gonna give you a rep anyway.

Wayne Chavness:
Okay. Go into ‘Third Party Content’, and untick EVERY selection EXCEPT ‘Adult Fantasy’. You’ve now blocked all ad categories except Adult. At this stage, you’ll still see the WHOLE Adult Fantasy category in your ads, most of which will be crap statics for some grim novel about a muscular but sweaty bare-chested man with a flower between his teeth.

You now need to train the system to understand you ONLY want to see the My F***ing Wedding ad. To do this, go to your Meetaplex page and leave the ads running. After a while, one of the milder ads for My F***ing Wedding should come up. Disable your pop-ups and click on that ad approximately 700 times. Just keep clicking and clicking. It won’t take you to the adult site because the transfer runs in a pop-up and your pop-ups are blocked.

Meetaplex now thinks you’re obsessed with My F***ing Wedding, and so it serves you My F***ing Wedding ads relentlessly, on a loop.

Superteeth:
Brilliant. Simply brilliant. That has worked an absolute treat!

Superteeth:
Wayne… I’m getting a bit bored with this My F***ing Wedding thing now. I’ve seen it about 400 times, and Meetaplex won’t let me tick or untick any ad categories. How do I stop My F***ing Wedding from playing and watch a different ad?

Wayne Chavness:
You can’t. You clicked on it 700 times. As social dating site ad clicks go, that pretty much means “I like it so much I wanna buy the company”.

Meetaplex:
Why not click another ad 800 times? Then the system will think you prefer that and show you that instead.

Superteeth:
Okay, done that. Had to wait a while for the bloke with the flower in his gob, but I’ve clicked him 800 times and the wedding movie’s gone. So that’s worked, but am I now locked into a situation where every time I want to see a different ad I have to click something about a thousand times?

Wayne Chavness:
Yes.

Advertisements