My Wishlist Has Been Hacked!!!

Shandi Beever Wishlist

SHANDI BEEVER:
I’m sorry if this post ends up in an emotional tirade, but I have suffered one of the most traumatic and devastating experiences any TV babe can ever face in the course of her life. My wishlist has been hacked.

Let me be as clear about this as I possibly can… PLEASE STOP SENDING ME PACKETS OF TOILET ROLLS AND PREGNANCY TESTS, as these have been placed on my list by the hacker and I do not want 11,500 of them. I know it is kind of my fans to have bought me 703 six-packs of toilet rolls and 374 pregnancy tests so far, but the seven grand you’ve spent on lavatory paper alone could have bought me a secondhand car, and I haven’t got the space to store limitless bog roll. I live in a luxury apartment – not a warehouse!

Worst of all I can’t even access the account to shut it down so everything on the list that people are stupid enough to buy will keep arriving at my door. I did hope initially that my fans would have the sense to realise that I obviously don’t want things like cod liver oil and surgical supports, but sadly it now seems that may not be the case.

Let me conclude by saying that whoever hacked my wishlist needs to grow up and get a life, and in all honesty it’s at times like this that I think the death penalty should never have been scrapped.


 
COMMENTS…

Richard Lingham:
Blog Member

This is an act of malice the like of which has set a new precedent in human evil. Generally, I am against hanging and the electric chair, but this is clearly a shocking criminal act and in a circumstance like this where there has been an obvious intention to destroy a totally innocent victim’s life, I feel Shandi is absolutely right and an exception should be made.

I cannot believe how brave you’re being about this, Shandi, and I appreciate you giving us the opportunity to help in any small way we can. I feel that you should not have to cope with something like this alone, and that it would perhaps be a wise course of action to get some counselling for the deep trauma you will inevitably be going through. But maybe even before counselling becomes available, if you ever feel the need to talk in this dark time of suffering and pain, I’m always here for you.

WARBECK:
Blog Member

Do you want the Weener Cleener Shandi?

SHANDI BEEVER:
Blog Member

Obviously not.

Rod B Sandleman:
Blog Member

D’you want the Steradent?

SHANDI BEEVER:
Blog Member

DO I LOOK LIKE I’VE GOT FALSE TEETH????!!!!!

michael_9:
Blog Member

Do you want the Elvis Presley hoodie and bed set?

SHANDI BEEVER:
Blog Member

WHAT THE HELL’S THE MATTER WITH YOU ALL?????!!!! Never mind do I want this, do I want that – HELP ME RECOVER MY LIFE!

Superteeth:
Blog Member

shandi I cud help u recuva ur life

SHANDI BEEVER:
Blog Member

Is this a real idea or are you going to say something stupid?

Superteeth:
Blog Member

a real idea

SHANDI BEEVER:
Blog Member

Go on then…

Superteeth:
Blog Member

If sum1 buyz u these

Amazon Enlargement Pills

u cud send them to me and i will take them off ur hands. that will give u more space in ur flat

SHANDI BEEVER:
Blog Member

Great, so that’s the whole catastrophe sorted then! A home has been found for the grow-your-dick tablets. My life is once again back on track.

Superteeth:
Blog Member

no problem shandi if the pills work i will tak the weener kleenrs off ur hands as well

Gerald Fox:
Blog Member

Shandi, I’ve bought you the constipation powder but the bank hasn’t taken the money off my card yet. Should I stop the payment?

SHANDI BEEVER:
Blog Member

Okay, so I kind of assumed most of this was pretty obvious, but it evidently isn’t. Please listen to this because anyone who doesn’t understand the state of play from this point forward I am quite seriously going to track down and render impotent with a fork…

I DO NOT HAVE FALSE TEETH, OR A PENIS, OR ATHLETE’S FOOT, OR UNCONTROLLABLE FLATULENCE, OR THE SHITS TO THE POINT WHERE I GET THROUGH 24,000 TOILET ROLLS A WEEK. IF I DID HAVE THE SHITS TO THE POINT WHERE I GET THROUGH 24,000 TOILET ROLLS A WEEK, I WOULD OBVIOUSLY NOT NEED THE TRIPLE STRENGTH CONSTIPATION POWDER. I DO NOT REQUIRE 450 PAIRS OF INCONTINENTS’ KNICKERS, 7,500 PREGNANCY TESTS, OR A BREAD BIN WITH A PICTURE OF JUSTIN BIEBER ON IT. I HOPE THIS ADEQUATELY EXPLAINS THE POSITION.

I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL IF YOU WOULD TWEET AND RETWEET AS MUCH OF THIS STATEMENT AS YOU ARE ABLE, AND PASTE IT ONTO ALL THE BABE FORUMS. IF ANYONE KNOWS OF ANY RADIO STATIONS WHO TAKE AND READ OUT LISTENERS’ MESSAGES ON AIR, PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE TO CONTACT THEM AND REQUEST THAT THEY PUBLICISE THIS INFORMATION.

Thank you.

Gerald Fox:
Blog Member

Does that mean I should stop the payment or I shouldn’t?

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