Make Me The Face of Battywipe Plus!

BattyWipe Plus Toilet Roll Advert

SHANDI BEEVER:
Sometimes, great good can come out of adversity, and dreams can come true. The recent hacking of my wishlist which buried my apartment under a warehouse full of toilet rolls admittedly caused me great upset, but today things are looking brighter. Having read my blog and noticed the incredible impact I had on the sales of lavatory paper, the manufacturers of Battywipe Plus™ have nominated me as a candidate to represent their product. I am one of just 12 nominees worldwide!

What happens now, is that Battywipe Plus™ customers have to vote for a winner from the 12 nominees. The winner gets to be the face of Battywipe Plus™ for at least a year, and that will include a huge TV campaign, posters, viral web marketing, corporates and personal appearances. This is a BIG deal!

So what I obviously need now is for all my fans to vote for me. To do this, simply go to the Battywipe Plus™ site, register, get your personal pin code, and text it to the number on the screen, along with the name of the person you want to vote for – which is meeee!


 
COMMENTS…

michael_9:
Blog Member

Does it cost anything to vote?

SHANDI BEEVER:
Blog Member

It costs £6 but you get a free toilet roll.

Richard Lingham:
Blog Member

Shandi; jubilant congratulations are in order! Very well done in becoming one of just 12 nominees across the entire globe. I shall of course be playing my part in this – that goes without saying. But if I wanted to vote multiple times, would that be possible?

SHANDI BEEVER:
Blog Member

You can vote as many times as you like and every vote gets counted.

Gerald Fox:
Blog Member

Do we get charged twice if we vote twice?

SHANDI BEEVER:
Blog Member

Yes, but you get two toilet rolls.

Richard Lingham:
Blog Member

Ah, so the free toliet rolls are one per vote?

SHANDI BEEVER:
Blog Member

Yes.

Rod B Sandleman:
Blog Member

Ahhhh… Hmmm. You see, I was thinking of voting about 200 times but I don’t really need 200 rolls of toilet paper. Is there any way I can stop the dispatch of the toilet roll when casting a vote?

SHANDI BEEVER:
Blog Member

Yeah, phone Customer Service and tell them you’re voting but you want to donate the toilet roll to charity.

Rod B Sandleman:
Blog Member

Every single time I vote?

SHANDI BEEVER:
Blog Member

No just every time you don’t want them to send you a toilet roll.

Rod B Sandleman:
Blog Member

So if I want to vote 200 times but I only want 8 toilet rolls, I have to phone Customer Service 192 times?

SHANDI BEEVER:
Blog Member

Or you could just let them send you all the toilet rolls and then take 192 of them to the charity shop.

Superteeth:
Blog Member

shandi i took the tablits but my weener has shrunk

Rod B Sandleman:
Blog Member

Hmmm…. Just phoned my nearest charity shop and they say they don’t accept more than 10 toilet rolls per visit.

SHANDI BEEVER:
Blog Member

Look, can you not just give them away to the neighbours or something?

Rod B Sandleman:
Blog Member

What, just walk up and down the street knocking everyone’s door and saying: “Excuse me, sorry to bother you, but here’s a toilet roll”?

SHANDI BEEVER:
Blog Member

JESUS!!!!!… WHY IS EVERYTHING SO DIFFICULT????!!!!!!… WHY CAN I NOT JUST ASK MY FANS TO DO SOMETHING AND EXPECT THEM TO DO IT, AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT WITHOUT ME GUIDING THEM THROUGH THE MINUTIAE OF EVERY DETAIL BY THEIR DICKS???!!!!!

EITHER VOTE OR DON’T VOTE! BUT STOP WHINING ON ABOUT A FEW ROLLS OF TOILET PAPER BECAUSE IT’S REALLY, REALLY ANNOYING ME NOW!!!

Superteeth:
Blog Member

dose the charity shop axcept penis enlargment pills

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