Tag Archives: entertainment

Internet Strategies: What Is Source-Trolling?

QUESTION:
Source-trolling has been reported as a growing Internet phenomenon – especially on the ever-chaotic screaming and foot-stamping ground of Twitter. But what actually is source-trolling, and what does it achieve?…

ANSWERS…

 

Nightshade La Pott:
Member

Source-trolling is the art of constantly demanding sources and citations during online debate – particularly when a statement is universally acknowledged as true, or so obvious that no one would even bother publishing a source. For example… Continue reading Internet Strategies: What Is Source-Trolling?
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What is Babe-Exclusive Education Syndrome?

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JACK SMART:
On the way to work this morning, someone on the train mentioned a thing called Babe-Exclusive Education Syndrome. So, I’ve rifled my extensive collection of dictionaries and encyclopedias for a definition, and I can now confidently announce that… I still have absolutely no idea what it means. Can anyone here fill me in? Continue reading What is Babe-Exclusive Education Syndrome?

Are My Cellphone Conversations Being Recorded?

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PATHFINGER:
In live conversation, I swear all the time, to the point where people tell me I need treatment for it. When I recently purchased a new smartphone, I paid extra for the privacy suite, and believed I was safe from tracking. But after my first live conversation I immediately began to see adverts for profanity-reduction services and all the articles I see on search engines now have words like “shit” or “bollocks” in the titles. Are my conversations being recorded for marketing purposes? Continue reading Are My Cellphone Conversations Being Recorded?

Exposing the Dark World of NRGCult

The Cult

If ever you’ve felt like joining a secret cult, full of witches, sorcery and er… male feminists, your option of the moment just has to be NRGCult. Anchored at a secret location on the ‘dark net’, the organisation is run by a collective of powerful ‘spellcrafters’, whose magick appears to be upscaling the membership volume at an alarming rate.

The group’s main recruitment drive centres around love spells. Huge transfers of cosmic energy which can make the very most coveted celebrity fall madly and deeply for some vacant blob of sap who resides in his mother’s basement. The love spells are free, but they can only be cast for members, so anyone wanting that dream partner must join the Cult. Continue reading Exposing the Dark World of NRGCult

The Making of… British Men Buy More Porn Than Food

The Making of British Men Buy More Porn Than Food

BOB LEGGITT:
Every so often, a piece of journalism comes along and turns news reporting on its head. Incisive, clever, insightful – a game-changing story is what every news team strives to serve to the public. This is the story of a piece of journalism that set out to scoop fourteen news awards, an NTA nomination, twenty-seven five-star media reviews, and a BAFTA… And failed. On all counts. In fact it was dropped from the late bulletin to make way for a piece called British Women Drink More Gin Than Water. Continue reading The Making of… British Men Buy More Porn Than Food

How to Exorcise a Lavatory

Exorcising a toilet

VICTORIA DRUGGS:
There are a few things in life that everyone hopes they will never have to face. One of the very most harrowing, is the discovery of a haunted toilet. It’s not the sort of thing you ask when viewing your new home…

“Oh yes, the coving is very well fitted and I particularly like the kitchen design. But tell me: is the toilet haunted?…”

And even if you do think to ask, let’s face it; the answer is not going to be “yes”, is it?

“Ah, I’m glad you asked, Madam! Because the home you’re about to purchase has the most haunted lavatory in Britain. The list of demonic visitations extends back to 1944, and once rendered the lavatory uninhabitable for a period of ten full years.

Various cursed objects were found thrust down the bowl. The toilet was, for example, blocked by a non-biodegradable Bible between late June and early July 1968. And then, when the Bible was finally blasted out of the system by a highly experienced plumber, the troubled, ghostly presence thrust two more Bibles down into its place. In the ensuing years, no fewer than 7,147 non-biodegradable Bibles have been thrust down this toilet under unexplained circumstances. It’s believed that in February 1989, there were nine Bibles down there at once. Will you be buying the house Madam?…”

If you’re buying a new home, and the toilet is haunted, chances are you’re not going to find out about it until it’s too late. Your lavatory will need to be exorcised, and that opens up a whole new array of problems… Continue reading How to Exorcise a Lavatory

Campaign to Make Life Quotes Illegal

life quote

SHANDI BEEVER:
I am campaigning to make life quotes illegal, on the basis that they are indiscriminately persuading Twitter users not to give up on their goals, when they should never even have set any goals in the first place.

In association with a small group of scientists who have asked to remain nameless, I have determined that life quotes are not only bad advice for 90% of Twitter’s userbase – they are also a form of torture. Accordingly, they should carry a minimum sentence of life imprisonment, in solitary confinement, on a diet of highly laxative cereal and water.

Please do whatever you can to spread this message and further the campaign, since I literally can’t be bothered. Continue reading Campaign to Make Life Quotes Illegal